The week prior, he had gotten his first make out and was basically on the verge of breaking that threshold of seeing tangible results. Then all of a sudden his family finds out hes doing PUA. He has a strict Asian background so basically hes torn between doing PU/self development, and maintaining family order. He picked the later... or at least in the mean time. I can relate to this myself as my parents are also extremely risk adverse and the advice I get from them is to play life safe, work silently, don't piss off your boss, marry a wholesome woman, save money, have kids, and retire. I mean I love my parents but I am glad I live over a thousand miles away and I only visit them for the holidays.
Let me tell you something. PU is a journey you must fucking take in solitude. Your family won't back you up and certainly your chode friends aren't going to back you up either. They want to cling on to you and tell you its bad to protect their own fragile egos. How would you feel if your neighbor all of a sudden won the lottery and gave you no money? You probably would hate him for no reason other than the fact that he got instant success. Nobody thinks its cool you want to talk to girls except you. Guys will hate on you, girls will think you are a sleazebag. Bottom line, nobody gives a shit except YOU. You might be tempted to show off your new pickup persona, RESIST IT. Its like Fight Club. The first rule of pickup is you don't talk about pickup. Fortunately, I'm not super close with my family and I didn't have a ton of friends when I started out so I was actually fortunate enough to not have anybody pull me down. I was that guy who went out solo with the purpose of opening 20 sets a night. Those brief months when I went out solo were the best and most crucial habit forming months of my PU journey. Of course it didn't hurt to have one of the best PU coaches around as a mentor.
A lot of Asian dudes are into PU and almost all of my students are Asian... big surprise. I noticed that Asians tend to have this one gigantic social circle of loosely tied friends. This is a common trend in west cost Asian-centric areas like Seattle and LA. Its comfortable associating yourself with this social circle, it makes you feel like part of the group. The problem is, you have this one big social circle and if you were castrated from the group, you don't have other social circles to associate with and you would feel alone. I see guys acting beta within their social circle in fear of being thrown out of the group. I will tell you this: FUCK your gigantic social circle and start making new smaller social circles.
Why you ask? When a social circle becomes large, it loses meaning. Most people are quite bland and ordinary and you really just get nothing out of it other than filling a hole in your soul. Small social circles on the other hand have a purpose and tend to form stronger bonds. People in smaller social circles tend to have specific interests. For example here: I have my bodybuilding social circles, photography social circles, PU and clubbing social circles, engineering and career social circles, female social circles. Within every social circle, I have superb people who I learn from. The best way to learn is through mirroring; form your groups wisely and they can push you to the sky.
Do you think there is such a thing as one big gigantic social circle of buff, athletic, artistic, engineers, hot girls, and all are business savvy and are very outgoing and social? Hell no! If you wan't to find a group of my clones, please do email me, I want to hang out with them! This is why smaller social circles are absolutely necessary for your long term development.
Well said. I'm glad I don't live near any family member either.
ReplyDeleteI have been reading your posts for a while now and this one has hit home for me. As an Indian dude (who knows you from simple pickup forum), I found that I was very fortunate to have only associated with White and Black people growing up since there were not that many Indians around where I grew up. Then when I ran across some Indians and read posts by them online, I started forming limiting beliefs because of the view they had on the world of women of other races not wanting them.
ReplyDeleteWith Asian men, I feel that you guys kinda have to overcome that complex and obstacle but being in an Asian social circle stops you. I did grow up around some Asian guys who were geeky Korean and Chinese kids.
1. Talking to girls of other races was an absolute no no
2. Oh he talked to girls!? OOOOO he is a bad influence
3. Women of other races just don't want us
I mean I even see it now when I am with a girl that happens to be Latin or White (god forbid), I literally have Indian women, older Indians, and Indian guys trying to interview me on that stuff like it way out of the ordinary.
Like when you see Asian men who are insecure all over the internet (I have been guilty of this), you can almost always pin it back to the social circle. Their parents telling them not to go after White women because they are out of their leagues yet encouraging their daughters to go after White men.
I had my parents tell me face to face that a White woman doesn't want anything to do with an Indian man which literally screwed my inner game up.
Your blog post resonates this blog post here:
http://reesarch.wordpress.com/2013/03/25/majority-of-people-do-not-want-to-see-you-succeed/
what are your thoughts on being a connector and merging social circles
ReplyDelete